Different Satanists will engage in different practices. Not everyone in this culture of faith believes or practices the same way - and that's exactly as it should be. Each and every individual is their own priest, their own pope. When it comes to your personal relationship with the Prince of Darkness, nobody else on Earth has any business telling you what to believe or how to practice your faith.

But in terms of my own relationship with the Prince of Darkness, there is a certain concept that I hold very dear, and I think some of my readers may benefit from reading about it. This concept is what I refer to as the Satanic initiation process.

Initiation is a term that has been defined and used in various ways. The verb initiate means "to begin" or "to start a particular action, event, or process." In many situations, the term initiation is used to describe a ceremonial rite of passage. Such rites normally consist of symbolic gestures which represent the admission of an individual into a particular group or level of knowledge. In many college fraternities, for instance, it is not unusual for potential members to be put through some sort of "ceremonial ritual" - usually involving pranks - to "test" whether they are suitable to formally join the club or not.

In a more esoteric sense, initiation is not merely a ceremonial ritual. It is more of a process that the individual goes through, in which they experience changes and reach higher levels of knowledge and awareness. In this context, initiation does not occur within or because of a ceremonial ritual - but it can be illustrated through one, if such is desired.

For instance, when you are being "initiated" into a college fraternity, you might be asked to spend a night in a house that is claimed to be haunted. If you last the entire night without leaving the house, then you are allowed to join the frat - because you have proven that you're not a "chicken." In this context, the "initiation" is merely a ritual that you must perform in order to reach your next stage of development - in this case, membership in a club. Here, status is defined by a rite of passage.

But there is another kind of initiation, when status is not defined by a rite of passage. Let's say you go to your local convenience store to pick up a carton of milk, and you end up meeting the person who's going to be your spouse for the rest of your life. When the two of you get married during your wedding, the wedding is merely an illustration of a change that has already taken place. You don't get married to someone and then fall in love with them (at least, not here in the West); you fall in love with them first, and you get hitched because you love each other. Or perhaps you and your love may decide not to have a formal wedding ceremony - but that doesn't change the fact that an important change has taken place in your life, and that change is the initiation.

Here, your status is not defined by the rite of passage. If there is a rite of passage at all, it is merely an illustration of a new status you've gained from having some kind of life-altering experience. The ancient Egyptians referred to this sort of thing as Xeper, an Egyptian verb which means, "to come into being, to change, to bring about, to create."

This is what Satanic initiation is like - except that, when it is specifically Satanic (as opposed to being romantic), you are experiencing an important spiritual change of some kind. In my case, perhaps the best example would be when I first realized that I am a Satanist.

This was way back in August of 1997. For an entire year prior to 1997, I had already begun to conceptualize a sympathetic approach to the Devil, but I was not yet ready to view my sympathy in a religious context. At first, I was nervous about thinking of myself as a Satanist, because I didn't think that there would be anybody else out there who would understand what I meant by the term. But in August of 1997, I found an article about the Church of Satan and the Temple of Set on the Religious Tolerance website, which included summaries of their separate belief systems - both described as "Satanism." And although I disagreed with both groups on a few issues, it absolutely thrilled me to discover that there are other people out there who believe like I do.

When I discovered these things, I suddenly realized that I was a Satanist - and had always been one. There was never a time when I said, "I'm thinking about being a Satanist" or "I want to be a Satanist." There was only that single moment of self-realization: "I am a Satanist." And that change was so phenomenal, so liberating, it was like I was looking into a mirror and seeing my true self for the very first time. You might say that I never had to "sell my soul" to the Prince of Darkness; it had already been His, and I simply snapped awake and realized it at that crucial moment.

My Satanic initiation did not necessarily begin with that moment of self-realization, for it had already been happening. In fact, I believe very strongly that it has been taking place ever since I was born. And if you, dear reader, are a fellow Devil worshiper, I would posit that your Satanic initiation has been happening since you were born too. But that moment of self-realization in 1997 is important to me because it was when I first became conscious of my fellowship with Set, and that awareness was something I did not have before. My discovery of the Church of Satan and the Temple of Set was a life-altering event that left me forever changed, and that change represents a very important stage of my Satanic initiation.

There have been various stages in my initiation process thus far, and I know there will be more to come as well. Another good example of one of these stages would be an experience I had in the fall of 1999. During that time, I felt drawn to view Set as a female entity - a goddess - for some strange reason that I couldn't explain. My interest in exploring the Devil as a goddess led me to research the ancient Sumerian myths about Tiamat. It also opened the door for me to cross paths with Lilith. Meeting Lilith was an important change in my initiation process, for it taught me to recognize and appreciate the concept of a purely feminine divinity. It was also the point in my life when I changed from being a henotheist (i.e., a person who believes in more than one deity, but worships only one) to a polytheist (i.e., a person who worships more than one deity). And I believe the Devil revealed Himself to me in His feminine form during this time as a way of introducing me to His Bride.

I have also gone through various paradigm shifts during my initiation process. When I first became conscious of my fellowship with Set, I chose to adopt the Temple of Set's paradigm for my own worldview. Later on, however, I began to develop disagreements with that paradigm. Originally, I accepted the Setian theory that all the religions of the world are divided between "nature worship" and "consciousness worship," with Satanism of course being consciousness worship. But I later came to realize that not all of the so-called "Right Hand Path" religions really involve nature worship. Christianity, for instance, is most certainly not a nature worshiping religion. And in some cases, even Satanism can be considered nature worship.

When I realized this, I adjusted my paradigm so that it no longer operated according to a strict, competitive dualism between nature worship and consciousness worship. And over the course of time, I came to realize that it's pointless to try and characterize all belief systems according to a dualism anyway. Instead of judging a worldview as being either "this" or "that," I am now much more sensitive to how each belief system is somehow different and unique from all others in the marketplace of human ideas.

Furthermore, I originally agreed with the "mainstream Satanists" that I should be worshiping myself as my god, instead of the Prince of Darkness. But after a few years, my relationship with the Prince became so strong that I just couldn't help but feel worshipful toward Him. I realized that I may indeed be my own priest or pope, but I am certainly not any sort of deity, and if there is any deity out there that deserves my worship and praise, it is Set. And so I ditched the mainstream prejudice against the word "worship," and started proudly calling myself a Devil worshiper.

I also used to believe in practicing magic and performing rituals like those outlined in Anton Szandor LaVey's Satanic Bible. But after a while, I began to feel that these rituals were not really working for me, and I decided to adjust them so that they would become more devotional practices. Ever since then, I have experienced a greater sense of fulfillment from my rituals, and I no longer take the subject of magic very seriously - much to the dismay of the mainstreamers.

For most of my years as a self-aware Satanist, I have been practicing my religion alone. But during the year of 2003, a very close friend of mine began to take an interest in learning more about Devil worship. In December of that year, he told me he felt he was ready to dedicate himself to the path. Afterwards, I began practicing rituals and worshiping the Prince of Darkness with an apprentice, whom I came to recognize as my brother and equal in the faith only a year after his dedication ceremony.

The experience of teaching an apprentice everything I knew, of showing him how to practice my rituals, and of having someone to worship and pray with was a major development in my initiation.

The experience opened my eyes to just how powerful a ritual could be when you have the right kind of partner. And it also taught me that teachers can learn from their pupils as much as pupils can learn from their teachers!

These are just a few examples of what my Satanic initiation has been like so far. It is a continual process of "fine tuning" one's perception of the world according to one's experiences and discoveries. For me personally, the worldview that I have today is much more fulfilling and empowering than the one I adopted when I first became aware of the Devil's presence in my life. And I am sure that it will become even more fulfilling and empowering as I continue to adjust and tinker with it through the years.

But I do not expect everyone else's initiations to resemble my own. Everyone's initiation will somehow be different. If you were to do all of the exact same things that I have done, your initiation would still be different from mine somehow, because we are all unique creatures. The process of initiation is necessarily different and distinctive for each individual.

Now some of you may feel that I am putting down the beliefs of others in such things as magic or self worship. Such is not the case. If it is consistent with your own initiation to believe in these things, then all the more power to you. If you experience a life-altering change that leads you to believe firmly in the power of magic, then I think you should go with it. That is a clear indication that your initiation is meant to take such a turn. That is your path. But on the other hand, if you should have another life-altering experience which leads you to disbelieve in the power of magic, then I think you must go with that as well. Beliefs can be useful things, but I believe we must have the strength and the courage to discard them if and whenever they outlive their usefulness. Otherwise, they will become stale and petty dogmas.

The very same principle goes for all other beliefs as well: belief in self worship, belief in theism, belief in prayer, belief in ritual, belief in voting Republican, etc. I believe we must each follow the courses of our own initiations, and sometimes this will mean changing our opinions over the years. As I said earlier, it is a "fine tuning" process. I encourage each of my readers to not let themselves be weighed down by dogmatism, but to keep themselves free and open-minded enough to adapt themselves and their views to the ever-changing circumstances of life. Don't try to be a rock in the midst of the torrent. Instead, let yourself go with the flow, and follow your heart. Let your initiation unfold as it will, and take comfort that whatever you become in the end will be greater and bolder than what you were in the beginning - like the butterfly who was once a larva.